VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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