So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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