Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
