So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Blood and glitter go together right?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
