where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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