he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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