it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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