I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
