soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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