I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
