I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
