Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
