It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
