Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
