Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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