Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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