You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
