why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
