OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
