She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
