strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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