i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
