I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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