I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
