I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
