Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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