What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
