i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
