yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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