I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
