We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can I color on your dick again?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
