she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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