the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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