I just saw a hot homeless man
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
