wat bout pragnant strippers??
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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