haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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