it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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