Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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