Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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