Sry I called you an 8
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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