I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
