It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
