Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
