I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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