Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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