omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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