remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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