what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
