That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's the barista slut.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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