our cab driver is having phone sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
